There is this new term circulating them internets and webdeals.
It is a phrase used to describe women, more specifically, a type of woman.
A woman who, when sitting there minding her own business, is not currently showing an expression of sheer elation, extreme happiness, adorable contentment, duck-lipped dance party joy or any other form of emotion that comes with wide eyes and relaxed eyebrows and upturned lips.
This term is the “Resting %^&*# Face”.
But first, let’s take it back. Back to 1996.
I went to two high schools. The first one was a public school in Wisconsin and the second was a private school in Illinois.
There were only two things that followed me from one school to the next. One was my UNWANTED nickname. Ghetto booty. How the HECK that thing jumped statelines with me can only be explained by looking back on yearbook photos. And yes, I can now agree…. I had one. FINE. FINE. FINE.
The second thing that followed me came in the form of a question (phrased in numerous ways).
“Are you mad?” “Are you mad at me?” “Are you ok? Because you look mad.” “Did you get into a fight?” “Did someone steal your overalls and white tank top? Because you look like your favorite outfit was just stolen.”
I was ALWAYS asked this question. ALWAYS. People would tell me that they saw me walking down a hall in between class and I looked angry. Or they walked past me and I didn’t see them, but the look on my face made them suspect that I was angry with them or something.
And, the thing is, I NEVER WAS. I mean, maybe sometimes, I was actually angry at something or someone. But, if that was the case, then I was angry AND carrying a note that I had spent the entire class period prior writing in so I could slip it into the locker of the person I was angry with between classes. Typically, a boy. Rarely a girl. Girls scared me in high school. Not in a “I think you are going to beat me up” way. But, in a “you are so pretty AND your eyebrows look nice..didn’t know you could have two of those AND I only have brothers so I don’t understand your lingo and you wear nice things and smell nice and you shave your legs already and you’re only 13?!?! AND I thought Teen Spirit deodorant was the only scent available to girls AND” so on…
Either way, the point is… I AM THE DEFINITION OF THIS NEWFOUND TERM.
I am Resting $%^&* Face.
And I am here to stand up and proclaim that this term is ridiculous.
LUDICROUS. Even Luda would say it. LUDAcris. (Mom, you will not understand this joke…but if you do, I am going to give you a simultaneous hi-five and look of confusion)
Do you think that I ENJOY catching a glimpse of myself in a window as I am walking by and see that I look like I just walked through someone’s fart?
Do you think that it is FUN to look through pictures and discover that (if unintentionally in the picture and therefore not smiling) you could be the new face for “I Hate Mondays” MEME’s?
Guys. God made me with this face. Take it up with Him if He forgot to give me the mechanism to walk AND look pleasant. Or to veg out while also appearing approachable.
If I am doing something that requires zero thought…then you can guarantee that my eyebrows will be furrowed. My lips will be pursed. And my eyes will cut you.
It’s just how I unintentionally roll.
Anyone else out there with me on this? Have you ever accidently turned your camera on to take a picture of something only to realize that the camera is turned towards your face. But instead of your beautiful oval, you see a ticked off Java the Hut?
Well, let me be the first to say, you are not alone.
We are in this together.
And we are NOT resting $%^&* face.
We are face.