Our final appointment for our Home Study is tomorrow. Our wonderful social worker, Kirsten, will be walking through our home and doing whatever it is she needs to do for the completion and approval of our homestudy.
I am freaking out.
In Illinois, you have to be a certified Foster Parent in order to adopt, so the stipulations for our approval require a lot more than what we are actually needing approval for. We have to have a home that is “safe” for the presence of 12 year old children.
So, I have to hide our gas can. And keep any and all tools, sharp objects, cleaning supplies, laundry detergent and medicine bottles out of said 12 year old’s reach.
The problem? I am shorter than most 12 year old children. So, in order to prep my house for this, I must essentially hide and lock everything away from myself.
And, what if we get it wrong? What if we stick the gas can on top of the fridge in our garage (which we have done since that is the highest point in there) and our social worker walks in, sees the gas can and sirens go off and she points to us and shouts “BOOOOOO” and some blinding lights flash in our face and an announcer comes over a loudspeaker yelling “I’m sorry, that is incorrect. You are no longer a candidate for this adoption. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Go directly to jail.”
Ok, I get it. This is not a game of monopoly. But, we could get declined, it could happen! It’s not like they give you the inside scoop on how to pass these things. Does it even matter if I cleaned my house…what if she doesn’t like where the medicine is stored? What if our basement is as scary to her as it is to me? What if she walks in and our hot water is too hot and our carbon monoxide detectors are too quiet and our…
WE NEED MORE CARBON MONOXIDE DETECTORS! Shoot. We need two more. If you are reading this and you have my number, would you mind maybe texting me tonight…say, 5pm-ish and just write “buy carbon monoxide detectors”? That would be so great. Thanks.
Also, if you think about it tomorrow night and want to randomly call one of our phones pretending to be the safety police congratulating us on winning the neighborhood “safest house” contest, I will be sure to answer on speakerphone.
Actually, make it the entire state of IL’s “safest house” contest.
That sounds much better.